Monday, October 6, 2008

Andre Iguodala Meets Elton Brand

Oh, hey, big guy. How ya doin?! It's so great to have you in town. This year is going to be GREAT. Now that we finally have some time to sit down, let's talk.

WOW, you're so strong! I mean, I bet you're strong enough to carry a team, right? HAHAHA! I'm kidding, Elton! If you even think this is your team, you're sadly mistaken. I will stab you in your bad knee with a rusty pair of scissors. And then again in your good knee. No offense, it's just how I roll.

I'm just messing with you. I wouldn't stab you in your good knee.

You're so tense, bro. Just loosen up, alright? It's not like I'm jealous of your enormous contract or the fact that now that you're here that we can win the East or that I couldn't get a maximum contract. No, I'm just having fun, rubbing your shoulders. Oh, what's that? It hurts? I'm just getting a little worked up, that's all.

But really, thanks for coming here. I mean, it's nice to have a third option after me and me. Youu seem surprised. Did they tell you that you'd be the number one guy? That's too bad. This has been AI's town for 12 years. Sure, it started with some other jerk, but the real AI runs this now.

Relax, Elly. Can I call you Elly? Well, I will anyways. I'm sure you'll do just fine here. Just remember our little talk.

Seriously, I've got the scissors if you don't cooperate. And I've got Herzog held in a remotely monitored location; he's getting thrown to the Treadwell bears if I don't get my shots.


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