Thursday, August 21, 2008

Reasons No One Wants to Play for the Bucks

I was in Wisconsin the past three days, doing things one would do while in Wisconsin. These things included eating, sleeping, going on a lake, and trying to find things to do. With that in mind, I've broken the code on why no NBA player actually wants to play for the Bucks. Here's some facts about Wisconsin that might influence a players decision:
  • the nicest restaurant in all of Wisconsin is called Scuttlebutt's.
  • sure, you can buy fudge from a confectioner, but it's recommended to buy it from "an old lady up the road who makes it everyday."
  • the most attractive female I saw in three days had a broken arm in a full cast.
  • the only non-white people in the state are tourists and athletes.
  • you can only enjoy a jetski for an hour at a time, tops.
  • it's "hot" when it's 80 degrees, which isn't actually hot.
  • pieces of random Bucks gear seen this week? Zero items.
  • uniforms are Christmas colors.
  • fattest state ever even if studies don't back it up.
  • the accents.

In all honesty, I like Wisconsin a normal amount. Sure there's no culture, virtuallly zero good-looking women, and a lack of culinary delights outside of The Mars Cheese Castle but places like Madison (where m'lady attended college) are great. The people are nice (and fat). They have motorcycle races up enormous hills. It's relaxing in a "I don't have to do anything ever" way. These are good things.

For real though, you can see why Yi and Richard Jefferson aren't the biggest fans. At least Minnesota has Prince.

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