Monday, July 7, 2008

It's Hard Out Here for Pau Gasol

Sergio Ramos, Fernando Torres, and Rafael Nadal sit jubilantly around a table. A single chair is unoccupied.

Ramos: Veectree es muy bueno. I berry much like weening.

Nadal: Si, si. Sank you so berry much for invitings me aqui. El weeners table!

Torres: De nada, de nada. Rafa, you are true Spanish hero. Te amo.

Nadal: Gracias, Fernando y Sergio. Es un great honor to be here. Now, we discuss hair y headbands, yes?

Torres: Si!

Ramos: Si!

A door creaks open, a haggard and heavily bearded Pau Gasol enters the room and colapses in the vacant chair.

Gasol: Hola, senores.

Nadal: Que? What es Wizard Claws doing here?

Ramos: No sabe. Es no offen we ween, Rafa. Maybe Pau Gasol es confused.

Gasol: Senores, I am berry sorry. I do no mean interrup, but I halve no eat sense Juno. Good people of Espana, haf not been awhaleabull for me to halve food. Zo I halve no ween champonship, yo tengo mucho hambre.

Torres: Ohh, pobrecito. Pau Pau cannot halve food because Pau Pau cannot halve champeenship. falls to the ground, fake cries.

Nadal: Pobrecito!

Ramos: falls to the ground, fake cries.

Gasol: Senores, por favor. I halve not money for eeben una headband.

Nadal: No money por una headband?! Es un tragedy, si.

Ramos: Los Champions para Espana must remedy. Los Champions para Espana wheel remedy. Barkeep, por favor, bring thees bearded creature you finest sangria y headband.

Juan Carlos Navarro walks slowly to the table, hands Pau Gasol a glass of sangria, removes his headband and places it around Gasol’s mangled hair.

Navarro: Please, Pau, treat this well…and remember 2006. No one else will.

To be continued….

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