Friday, November 7, 2008

Andre "Grimace" Iguodala Tries to Smile

A lot of people say to me, "Iggy, why don't you ever smile?" After I slap them in the face for calling me Iggy, I have to explain my problem.

The thing is, it's not that I don't smile. It's that I can't smile. Seriously. Here's what happened when I tried to smile during a game last year.

That is not a good look. I really don't even understand why I can't. I tried pulling my mouth down to show my teeth, but for whatever reason, my upper lip wouldn't let them show. It sucks. I really want to smile.

Sometimes, I just try to sneak up on the smile. Like, I'll act like I'm not trying to smile, then at the last second, I'll bust one out.

Of course, I end up looking like I should be in an all-male R&B group from the year 2000. It's really frustrating. I just want to show you guys how happy I am.

And why wouldn't I be happy? I'm rich. I'm obviously the best player on my team. There is seriously no one in the world that should be as happy as me.

Wait. I just had an idea. What if I flex ALL my muscles and try to smile? Would that work? Here goes nothing.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, it's working. Everyone look quickly. I am so smiling right now. This feels so awesome. I just want to smile forever. Just keep flexing, Andre. Flex and smile. Flex and smile.

Tell me you guys are seeing this.

Great. Lost it.

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