Kevin Durant's New Arms

I think the fan movement is pretty cool down in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma home of the Oklahoma City Thunder basketball club. Seems like their fans always want their team to do well, and they're super excited to have a team. It's pretty chill.

However, I DO NOT agree with them replacing their best player's arms with thunder sticks just so 'the people' can better identify with him.

I know you're not used to having a basketball team, but one of the first things they teach you at the town meeting the city holds when it's announced that you will be getting a new basketball team is to never replace your star player's arms with any sort of cheering apparatus. That's like Fandom 101, which is offered at any community college. Take a class, guys.

What Is This Guy Laughing At?

Hey, I like posting up as much as anyone outside of Paul Wall, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what is so so so so so funny to Eugene Pinkoxfordshirt up there. He's just loving life. BUT WHY?

Maybe because of this:

• Just watched the 5ooth Jones episode on his iPodPhone.
• Found out about Skype.
• Kevin Jonas got married.
• Received the R. Kelly Light It Up Tour DVD in the mail and watched the part that Aziz Ansari was talking about.
• Realized that exactly half of R. Kelly's songs are about making sex and the other half are inspirational self-help songs, which is a pretty weird breakdown.
• Started reading The Blowtorch.
• Is just a jolly fat man who likes to laugh.
• Bananas.
• One of his buddies wore a sweater that looks like the calibration screen on an HD television.
• Farted.
• Just likes having a good time.
• Found out his dad had Twitter.
• Rewatched The Happening.
• Can't get "Day Man" out of his head.
• Actually choking on a delicious churro.
  

But maybe it's none of those things. If you think you know what it is, throw it in the comments/bag.

1000 Words: Typical Front Row Laker Fans

Reactions to Ryan Anderson's Goatee

• Oh, no. We can't be having that kind of facial hair. Such a nice young man.
• CANDY BARS.
  
• I bet I looked that good when I had my goatee.
• Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
• Hmmmm...I'd look superfresh with a goat like that.

Pau Gasol, He Ereses La Cana a Lot

That's what I'm always saying. I scream it a lot. I'm always like, "Pau eres la cana! Yeah!" People don't really get it, but you two get it. You know what I mean. Because if there's anyone who really eres la cana it's Pau Gasol, am I right?

The funny thing is, I don't really speak that much Spanish. And even less Catalan. But I'm pretty sure that when I say "Pau eres la cana," which is A LOT, I'm speaking the truth. That dude LOVES to eres la cana. Loves it. It's basically his favorite thing besides hook shots and making his hands look like deer hooves.

I don't know though. I guess it would make sense that I check in to what it actually means instead of just telling all my friends that Pau Gasol eres la cana. Well, I guess I've already told all my friends, but it couldn't hurt to check it out before I tell them again. Let's see here.

"Peace eras the sugarcane?" That doesn't even make sense. Is this some sort of code? It doesn't even reference Pau Gasol. This is really embarrassing. All this time, when I was yelling "Pau eres la cana," I thought I was just saying something like "Pau, you're a baller," or, "Pau, you're beard is okay." I definitely didn't think I was propagandizing on behalf of the Sugarcane Peace Coalition.

Thanks for nothing, Spain.

Things That Actually Happened in a Professional Basketball Game in 2009

Elton from Clueless dunked.

Whoever this guy is shot a jump shot.

The guy from the Dead Presidents movie poster ran on the court for a hug from Undercover Brother.

The most overwrought dunk attempt of all-time was blocked by the most overwrought block attempt of all-time. Relax, guys.

Whatever Aaron Brooks is doing.

PRO TIP: Sometimes you just have to link to something involving Eddie Griffin.

You Did It, Chris!

Chris! CHRIS!

CHRIS!

Way to go buddy! You just won NBA Player of the Week for the Western Conference! I'm so proud of you! I cannot stop screaming!

Yeah, Chris!!!!!! Congratulations on literally the biggest honor you have ever received in your career, and probably the biggest honor a Clipper will receive this season! Woooooooooo!

Check out my sign, Chris. If you couldn't tell, I made it myself. I didn't want to go the cliche "professional-looking sign" way so I tore a piece of ceiling down from my office at work and found whatever Sharpies we had in the supply cabinet. Looks great, right?!?!

You did it, Chris!! You did it so much!

LOOK AT MY AWESOME SIGN!!!

CHRIS!!! KAMAN!!!

Hey, Let's Make the Worst Sign Ever

"Dude, we've got to make a sign for tonight's game. The Nugs can clinch!"

"OH that's right! For sure, let's make a sign. But we need to make sure it's very to the point."

"Yeah, yeah. Like nothing that doesn't make sense or that's too complicated. And it should be pretty boring."

"Got it."