Lamar Odom's Shirt from the Future Has a New Girlfriend

I still remember the day we all saw Lamar Odom's future shirt. It was pretty exciting because we got to see the kind of clothes that we will all be wearing someday. I did a bit of research and found out that his shirt is named The Shirt, and is made of a polymer compound that not only adjusts to body heat, but also the wearer's mood. When I found out that last part, I was kind of sad for Lamar.

As you can tell from his face, he's a little confused here. But after reading up on The Shirt, I discovered that the reflective strips throughout The Shirt tighten when they sense anxiety. You can see how the shoulder strips are very bunched together, as if to say, "will there even be a future where I exist?" They could also be saying "which of these two hats should I choose?" The manual is unclear about this.

However, it appears that his Shirt has found a new reason to live. I found this picture of The Shirt and its new girlfriend Khloe Kardashian during my hourly perusal of every gossip blog on the Internet:

Look how straight and loose his shoulder strips are. His button placket is also very flat and elongated. These are both good signs. Not only does it ensure that The Shirt is working correctly (confirmed by his grin), it also proves that there is a use for this Shirt in the future, and that there will probably be a future where we all wear these Shirts.

Now, my only concern is that The Shirts will turn on us and Will Smith will have to save us, but he's really good at that so we should be fine.

A History of Bad Trades Throughout History

Lamar Odom trades the lives of many Trojans for a large horse, explaining "Hey guys, free horse!"

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Dick Rowe chooses to sign Brian Poole and The Tremeloes to a record contract, rather than The Beatles.

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I offer Danny Solecki a Jamal Mashburn/Dino Radja card package for a Grant Hill rookie card. He accepts.

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Cuba Gooding, Jr. willfully utters the line "Hey Michael! I'm wearing your underwear!" and receives several thousand dollars from Hanes. In return, he loses his dignity.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers acquire Shaquille O'Neal.

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Occasional Observations on Several Subjects - the Things I Wonder Edition

• I was driving to work this morning, listening to Dr. Dre, and the thought popped in to my head, "I wonder which of the songs on Chronic 2001 is Lamar Odom's favorite?" I know he's from New York, so he's probably pretty tied in to that scene, but I'm also fairly certain that he'd be a huge Dr. Dre fan. That being said, I'm guessing his favorite song is "Xxplosive" or "What's the Difference."
• It's always been surprising to me that Tim Duncan wears number 21. 21 is sort of a flashy number, for guys like Kevin Garnett, Darius Miles and Zaid Abdul-Aziz. Duncan seems like he'd wear something in the 40s. This has been bothering me for at least three weeks.

• This is something that KD and I talked about, but I'm still shocked by the Cavaliers. Take away LeBron and they're worse than the Bucks last year, who were 21st in offense and last in defense. LeBron is THAT good. So good that he makes the team 1st in offense and defense. That's ridiculous. "We Are All Witnesses" is a really bizarre marketing strategy, but it's also really true.

  
• I wish this were a real album. I also can't believe I didn't do this 3 years ago.
• Things on the docket for this week: internet/cable installation, which means there will be a new Blowtorch Presents, probably sometime next week. Also, there is going to be some other audio noises happening in other places, but I've probably said too much.
• Last, but certainly not least: I'm opening a cupcake shop called ToughCakes.
  ToughCakes - tough to eat cupcakes
  
  
  As you can see from the ToughCakes on the right, the tagline is fitting. And yeah, I made heart-shaped cupcakes. Deal with it.