Showing posts with label Don Draper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Don Draper. Show all posts

Monday, October 5, 2009

Introducing Dontaye Draper

This is Dontaye Draper. He's currently playing for the Nuggets in the preseason, but he probably won't make the team because he's not great at basketball. And that's too bad, really.

I heard that he has whole-heartedly embraced the dress code. When he travels to games, even if they're in the D-League, he always wears a suit. And when it's time to relax, he's still dressed-up by today's standards. We're talking white t-shirt tucked in to khakis with an extremely long crotch. On the weekends, he's bound to wear some chinos and a patterned dress shirt. That's what all the guys wear.

Supposedly, the main reason that Dontaye Draper hasn't made it in the NBA is his conduct away from the game. He's known to take long trips with no announcement, without leaving word of where he'll be. That doesn't fly in today's culture.

There's also the matter of his true identity. Word on the street is, when he was younger, he wasn't really Dontaye Draper, but LaDick Whitman. Something happened to the real Dontaye Draper, and LaDick took his place. Not a lot of people know this about him, but the people that do use that to their advantage.

The weirdest part of all this is that even if he were offered, Dontaye Draper wouldn't sign an NBA contract. He doesn't want to be tied down. Who knows where he'll be in three years?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dwight Howard Visits Sterling Cooper

(There is a knock on a door. Dwight Howard enters Don Draper's office.)

What?Yo, man, I'm Dwight. I came down here to just show y'all how to connect with young people. It's dark in here, man, mind if I turn on the lights?What do you need, Dwight?I don't need much, man. I just want to dance and smile. Give me a smile.Man, that ain't no smile. Stand up like Dwight and get a real smile going. Close enough, bro. Now we smilin'.

(There is a knock at the door. Pete Campbell enters the office.)
Don, we need to talk. Who is this?I'm Dwight, man.And what are you doing here?Just came down to hang out and dance.Very funny.
Come on, man. Dance for Dwight.
(There is a knock at the door. Sal Romano leans in the office.)

Ooooh, are we dancing?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

1000 Words: Jon Hamm is Trying to Act Here


"Look, I realize you're brooding. But what do you want me to do? I can't get him to stop yelling about the Lakers."