Luke Ridnour Misses the Point

Mo Williams: This new commercial is going to be insane.

Rashard Lewis: For real, we look tight.

Kevin Durant: Yeah.

Rashard Lewis: Who else they got comin'?

Mo Williams: I don't know. You know, Kev?

Kevin Durant: No.

Rashard Lewis: I think Iggy coming. And I heard Luke Ridnour was coming, but that can't be true.

Mo Williams: Who is Luke Ridnour?

Rashard Lewis: He play for the Sonics.

Kevin Durant: No.

Rashard Lewis: Oh, right. He play for the Thunder.

Kevin Durant: No.

(door opens)

Mo Williams: Iggy! What up?!

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

Rashard Lewis: You bring anybody with you?

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

(door opens, knocks over Connect Four game)

Luke Ridnour: Hey, guys. Did I do that?

Mo Williams: Who dat?

Kevin Durant: Ridnour.

Williams/Lewis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Luke Ridnour: Awwww, not again. They said "dress like the early 90s." They specifically said EARLY 90s. Why does this always happen to me?

Williams/Lewis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

Andre "Grimace" Iguodala Tries to Smile

A lot of people say to me, "Iggy, why don't you ever smile?" After I slap them in the face for calling me Iggy, I have to explain my problem.

The thing is, it's not that I don't smile. It's that I can't smile. Seriously. Here's what happened when I tried to smile during a game last year.

That is not a good look. I really don't even understand why I can't. I tried pulling my mouth down to show my teeth, but for whatever reason, my upper lip wouldn't let them show. It sucks. I really want to smile.

Sometimes, I just try to sneak up on the smile. Like, I'll act like I'm not trying to smile, then at the last second, I'll bust one out.

Of course, I end up looking like I should be in an all-male R&B group from the year 2000. It's really frustrating. I just want to show you guys how happy I am.

And why wouldn't I be happy? I'm rich. I'm obviously the best player on my team. There is seriously no one in the world that should be as happy as me.

Wait. I just had an idea. What if I flex ALL my muscles and try to smile? Would that work? Here goes nothing.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, it's working. Everyone look quickly. I am so smiling right now. This feels so awesome. I just want to smile forever. Just keep flexing, Andre. Flex and smile. Flex and smile.

Tell me you guys are seeing this.

Great. Lost it.

Andre Iguodala Meets Elton Brand

Oh, hey, big guy. How ya doin?! It's so great to have you in town. This year is going to be GREAT. Now that we finally have some time to sit down, let's talk.

WOW, you're so strong! I mean, I bet you're strong enough to carry a team, right? HAHAHA! I'm kidding, Elton! If you even think this is your team, you're sadly mistaken. I will stab you in your bad knee with a rusty pair of scissors. And then again in your good knee. No offense, it's just how I roll.

I'm just messing with you. I wouldn't stab you in your good knee.

You're so tense, bro. Just loosen up, alright? It's not like I'm jealous of your enormous contract or the fact that now that you're here that we can win the East or that I couldn't get a maximum contract. No, I'm just having fun, rubbing your shoulders. Oh, what's that? It hurts? I'm just getting a little worked up, that's all.

But really, thanks for coming here. I mean, it's nice to have a third option after me and me. Youu seem surprised. Did they tell you that you'd be the number one guy? That's too bad. This has been AI's town for 12 years. Sure, it started with some other jerk, but the real AI runs this now.

Relax, Elly. Can I call you Elly? Well, I will anyways. I'm sure you'll do just fine here. Just remember our little talk.

whispering
Seriously, I've got the scissors if you don't cooperate. And I've got Herzog held in a remotely monitored location; he's getting thrown to the Treadwell bears if I don't get my shots.

Smile!