Showing posts with label Caron Butler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caron Butler. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Caron Butler, I'm Just Like You

We both wear hats. Of course.


Hey, Caron Butler, I get it. The whole "giving up pop because someone wants you to" thing. It's not very much fun is it? I mean, yeah, you sleep better. And you don't get that raw feeling in your mouth from drinking too much. But it's still definitely not the best.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting something out of it. If I don't drink pop (or eat junk food) from now until September 9th, my wife is going to buy me The Beatles: Rock Band. I'm guessing you have the same sort of deal with the Wizards, only you'll probably get several thousand dollars in a bonus. Same thing, basically.

Since I heard the news, I've been thinking a lot about how we're very similar, and it's not just the pop thing. For instance, I bet kids called you "Carry-On" because it sounded like your name. That's exactly like when I used to get called "Gay Trey." Rhyming is universal. And remember how you chew on straws (of course you do -- you're you)? I used to do that too.

Oh, and of course, there's the main similarity between our vocations. You play basketball nine months out of the year and make millions of dollars. I make less than a tenth of that sitting at a desk day in and day out. See the similarity? We're both employed in this economy. It's amazing how much the same we are.

So next time you're in Chicago to play the Bulls, give me a call. We can do something that bros like us like to do. Maybe we can go buy some things that are super expensive, or go watch the new Quentin Tarantino movie (you like him, too? I knew it!). You know, stuff for us kinda guys. We'll think of something, I'm sure. Just no pop.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ballin in Space

Ballin in Spain
Ballin in Spa-ee-ain
Whatcha doin' out there teams?

Chris Paul:
That's pretty freaky, Wizards.
Is it cold out in Spain, Wizards?



David West:
You can borrow my jumper if you like, Wizards.

Caron Butler:
Does the cold of Spain make your nipples get pointy, Hornets?
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae to transmit data back to Stern?
I bet you do, you freaky old bastards, you.

Do you have one really funky sequin jump suit, Hornets?
Or do you have several ch-ch-ch-ch-changes?

David West:
Do you smoke grass out in Spain, Wizards?
Or do they smoke Astroturf?


Chris Paul:
Receiving transmission from Caron Butler’s nipple antennae
Do you read me, Caron Butler?
I said, do you read me, Caron Butler?

David West:
This is Hornets to Wizards.
Do you hear me out there, Wiz?

Caron Butler:
This is Wizards back to Hornets.
I read you loud and clear, Buzz.


All three:
OH YEAH MAN!

Chris Paul:
Your signal's weak on my radar screen, How far out are you, man?

Caron Butler:
I'm pretty far out.

All three:
That's pretty far out, man!

Caron Butler:
Oh-ah-oh
I'm orbiting Bilbao
Oh-ah-ohh oh oh
I'm drawn in by its Groovitational
Groovitational pull, I'm jamming out with the Juan Dixonauts
And they think it's pretty cool man.

OOOHHH-AHHHH

Chris Paul:
Are you okay, Wizards, what was that sound?

Caron Butler:
I don't know, man, I have to turn my team around Oh, it's the craziest scene.

David West:
Yeah, I'm picking it up on my NBA screen
Caron Butler:
Can you see the blogosphere ringing?

Both:
To the choir of Ely-nauts singing
Hornets in space
Hornets
Hornets
Hornets
Hornets
Hornets
Hornets
Wizards in space
Wizards
Wizards
Wizards
Wizards
Wizards
Wizards
Eenie, ma-ma-meenie mynie mowie
(Caron Butler: Set your phasers on funky)
Eenie, ma-ma-ma-meenie mynie mowie
B-b-b-b-b-ballin in Spain

Inspired by this. Obviously.