The Spurs Diagram Their Final Play

Roger Mason: Ummm....coach....are you sure you want me taking this shot? I'm happy to take it, it's just a little weird that you're asking me. Just hold up one finger if you want me to shoot it.Gregg Popovich: I wouldn't have called the play if I didn't want you to shoot it. Also, I'm still bearded. I'm wise. I'm WISE! So, I guess, let's see...(raises finger). There, good?

Roger Mason: Yeah, cool. Just like me. I was just surprised. Tim, do you think this makes sense?

Tim Duncan: (robot noises) BEEEP BOOP BOP BEEP...CALCULATING...ROGER MASON BALL SHOOT CONFIRMED BEEP BOOP (robot noises)Tony Parker: He shood zhoot zee ball, no? Zees Vrogers Mason vith hees Charlie Oakley hairs, must-a make-a zee three. Oui?

Eva Longoria: I'm useless.

Tony Parker: BAGUETTE!

Roger Mason: Here goes nothing.

(shot falls)

Whoa, sweet. It went in. No more, Junior!

Tim Duncan: (robot noises) BEEEP NOW COMMENCING SMILE....SMILE INITIATED (robot noises)

Shaq Want Eat Ref

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. What do I do? He's coming. He is so going to eat me. Think. Think quickly. Okay, in Jurassic Park, they stayed totally still. I'll try that. Did he notice me? I think he did.

What if I hold my breath? That'll help. That's got to help. Oh Lord, please let it help. I don't want it to end this way.

He's getting closer. I can't hold my breath much longer. Maybe a hand over the mouth will help. It's not helping. I'm going to explode. C'mon. Just a few seconds longer and he won't know I'm here. Fingers up the nose. It's my last chance.

He's going to swallow me whole. At least that'll be quick and painless. Well, quick at least. Tell my family I love them.

Wait. I'm still here. What happened?

Oh, Steve Nash, you're the best!

Is Anthony Morrow a Real Person? - A Blowtorch Investigation

Evidence for


Evidence against

Conclusions
There are only two logical results:

1. Anthony Morrow is a real NBA player, who plays for the Golden State Warriors. He can only play for the Golden State Warriors, since his main skill is scoring. Upon joining another team, he would be Damien Wilkins (read: shoots too much, hated, annoying).


2. Anthony Morrow is a construct. Concocted by a Dustin Hoffman in Wag the Dog type, "Morrow" was created to assuage concerns by the Golden State faithful. His existence is predicated on the concept of fairness. After Monta Ellis' injury, "Anthony Morrow" was created so that Warriors fans can have something to be happy about. Upon Ellis' return, "Morrow" will cease to exist.

The truth is out there.