Proposed Nicknames for All 60 Draftees

1. Blake “Gingerballs” Griffin
2. Hasheem “The Meme” Thabeet
3. James “Beardo” Harden
4. Tyreke “Jowls” Evans
5. Ricky “RubiBro” Rubio
6. “Jolly” Jonny Flynn
7. Stephen “Steve” Curry
8. Jordan “Dru” Hill
9. Demar “Dee Dee” DeRozan
10. Brandon “Ken” Jennings
11. Terrence “Scary Terry” Williams
12. Gerald “Male Pattern Baldness” Henderson
13. Tyler “Crunk Juice” Hansbrough
14. Earl “Jeepers Creepers” Clark
15. Austin “Ol’ Shatterbones” Daye
16. James “Joseph” Johnson
17. Jrue “Halitosis” Holiday
18. Ty “Clam Chowder” Lawson
19. Jeff “Fa” Teague
20. Eric “Mustard” Maynor
21. Darrin “Rick” Collison
22. Victor “The Beekeeper” Claver
23. Omri “Omribus” Casspi
24. BJ “Logs” Mullens
25. Rodrigue “Crayfish” Beaubois
26. Taj “Worst in the First” Gibson
27. DeMarre “Of the Marre” Carroll
28. “Squire” Wayne Ellington
29. Toney “Martin” Douglas
30. “Sister” Christian Eyenga
31. Jeff “Teddy” Pendergraph
32. Jermaine “Bespoke” Taylor
33. “Diamond” Dante Cunningham
34. Sergio “Cool” Llull
35. DaJuan “The Juan” Summers
36. Sam “Meat Lovers” Young
37. “Deadleg” DeJuan Blair
38. Jon Brockman aka “Bron Jockman”
39. Jonas “Bookshelves” Jerebko
40. Derrick “Murphy” Brown
41. Jodie “Fats” Meeks
42. Patrick “The” Beverly
43. Marcus “The Clawhammer” Thornton
44. Chase “Whoops!” Budinger
45. Nick Calathes aka “Nicky Lisp”
46. “Gorgeous” Danny Green
47. Henk “Cheese Biscuit” Norel
48. Taylor “Robin Lopez” Griffin
49. Sergey “The Noble Homo” Gladyr
50. Goran “Dark Chief” Suton
51. “Detective” Jack McClinton
52. AJ Price aka “General Cornballer III”
53. Nando De Colo aka “8 ½”
54. Robert “Bobby” Vaden
55. “Peppermint” Patty Mills
56. Ahmad “Paying Nividends” Nivins
57. Emir “The Smear” Preldzic
58. Lester Hudson aka “Jenny from the Block”
59. Chinemelu “Cranberry” Elonu
60. Robert Dozier aka “Twitchy”

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Planet Earth

In an effort to promote racial equality, I just want to let you all know that when Blake Griffin comes to the NBA next year, his nickname will be "Gingerballs." Rhys Darby would be proud.

That is all.

For Your Reference: Basketball Nicknames

Wikipedia is a glorious and entirely accurate resource. For Your Reference highlights the best parts of this completely true learning tool. The picture will come from searching for the Wikipedia term in question.First up, the List of Nicknames Used in Basketball.

The List of Nicknames Used in Basketball is quite handy. Perhaps you'd like to buff up on some of the seemingly forgotten AKAs for your favorite players. Maybe you're curious about what people actually called Donyell Marshall. More likely, however, you like laughing and smiling. Those are the best.

I find it most advantageous to break this plethora of sobriquets in to categories to keep them organized. Please note that all the nicknames are taken verbatim from Wikipedia.

Nicknames No One Has Ever Actually Used

• Air Zaire - Dikembe Mutumbo
• Apollo 33 - Jamario Moon
• Big Snacks - Jerome James
• The Blonde Bomber - Dirk Nowitzki
• The Boston Celtic Mascot - Brian Scalabrine
• Boshinator - Chris Bosh
• Flop - Manu Ginobili
• Go Go Gadget Arms - Kevin Garnett
• Ko Ditty Ko - Kobe Bryant
• Mr. Perfect - Jeff Green
• The Money Man - Mehmet Okur
• Nickel - Anfernee Hardaway
• PG2010 - Pau Gasol
• The Riddler - Zydrunas Ilgauskas
• Troy Toy - Troy Murphy

Nicknames Where the Definition is Better Than the Actual Nickname

• Baby Gramps - Greg Oden ("He is a remarkably old looking young man.")
• Baby Shaq - Sofoklis Schortscanitis ("From his alleged resemblance to Shaquille O'Neal, plus he is slightly smaller in size than O'Neal.")
• The Beast - Patrick Ewing ("Due to his appearance.")
• Buffet of Goodness - Channing Frye ("He has described himself as a buffet of goodness because of his all around skills.")
• DaWhite Howard - David Lee ("Reference to him being a white player, and his similar penchant for snarring rebounds ala rebound king Dwight Howard.")
• Hot Plate - John Sam Williams ("Normally referred to as simply John Williams; nickname from his large girth, and to distinguish him from John "Hot Rod" Williams. Both of these John Williams's entered the NBA in 1986 from colleges in Louisiana ("Hot Plate" from LSU, "Hot Rod" from Tulane). ")
• The Italian Stallion - Andrea Bargnani ("Italian translation – 'The Magician'")
• Memo Man - Ramon Sessions ("Because of the career highs he sets every game.")
• The Rain Man - Ray Allen ("His shots always drip, like rain.")
• The 'Stache - Adam Morrison ("For his much-scrutinized mustache.")

Nicknames I Wish I Knew Existed Earlier

• Big Red - Arvydas Sabonis
• Buc the World - Greg Buckner
• Captain Crunch - Jalen Rose
• Earl the Squirrel - Earl Boykins
• Garbage Man - Michael Bradley
• Grits n Gravy - Ricky Davis
• Hungry Hungry Hilton - Hilton Armstrong
• The Rash - Bruce Bowen
• Mongoose Quick Rick - Ricky Davis
• Ghostface - Joel Pryzbilla

Nicknames Created by the Internet

• Agent Zero - Gilbert Arenas
• Kid Delicious - Kevin Durant
• The Armadillo Cowboy - Joe Johnson
• The Poo God - Manu Ginobili
• Timmy Deucecan - Tim Duncan
• The Medicine Man - Chris Quinn

There's a whole lot of goodness over there, have a look and chime in with your favorites.