Lesbian Clichés (Part 2)

It's back! After popular demand, I've gone ahead and written 'Lesbian Clichés (Part 2)' a week early. Let's get cracking, shall we?

Cliché numero Seis: Tank Tops.

That's right, if you're thinking "well straight people wear them too!" - I know! I FREAKIN' KNOW! But what is a tell-tale sign when recognizing a dyke on the prowl? A tank top. a.k.a. 

Wifebeater! 

Yeah, yeah, the woman above is not a lesbo. But she is so hot. ;)

You will, however, find many famous lesbians including Cathy DeBuono and Jenny Shimizu wearing them. Chances are, if you're out in a bar or a nightclub, the girls in the tank tops are the gay ones! You can even get awesome lesbian themed versions for yourself at CafePress. (Like the one below!)

Cliché numero siete: U-Haul.

U-Haul? If you're a lesbian and reading this, I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. For you non-lesbians, I'll explain...

U-Haul (also known as 'the lesbian urge to merge') is when a lesbian couple decide they are going to move in together after knowing each other for only a short time - sometimes even only a couple of weeks!

For example, my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now, and we have already decided we're going to buy an apartment together in London, have at least one child (that she will be carrying) and maybe get a pet cat/dog. All this in five months? Not that I'd know, but I'm sure most straight couples would be totally freaked out by this notion at only 5 months...

On that note, does anyone know why this is? How come lesbians decide this stuff so quickly?

Cliché numero ocho: Ties.

Perhaps made more mainstream by The L Word's Shane (Kate Moennig), ties are a dead give away when spotting a lesbian.

Again, no idea why this is, but dykes (especially soft butches) tend to wear ties a lot. Not to look smart or presentable, perhaps just to look cool? Whatever, it works!

Cliché numero nueve: Being Butch.

Now I'm not saying all lesbians are butch, I'm saying that straight people think all lesbians are butch.

Now I know this is factually inaccurate - I myself am a HUGE femme. Right now, I'm wearing Barbie pink nail polish and girly eyeliner, so why is this a preconceived notion among straight people? Maybe we should show them some real femmes. Or haven't they heard of Portia De Rossi?

Cliché numero diez: Gay Bumper Stickers!

So they're not exclusive to lesbians, but to gays in general. I guess they're just our little way of letting other gays know!

Aww, doesn't it look pretty? You know you want a gay bumper sticker... Unless you already have one... And if you do, get more! MOAR!

And that's it! I'm sure there are hundreds more. If you think of any, let me know and I'll think about put a 'part 3' together. Until next time!

Clementine Ford goes back in the closet...

My life is no longer complete: this week, The L Word actress Clementine Ford claims that she didn't previously come out in an interview with UK magzine DIVA.

A couple of months back, I blogged about Ms. Ford allegedly 'coming out of the closet' during an interview. (You can see the whole blog here.)

However, now she is saying the complete opposite. She claims that she never came out, and just spoke about how she didn't want to put a label on herself.

The article also pushed forward false rumors about Clemetine's private life with Kate Moennig (aka Shane McCutcheon) and twisted what she said about her work on The L Word.

She said of the article:

That Diva article also picked up quotes from a podcast interview I did with AfterEllen.com where the interviewer asked me if the sex on The L Word was real, and I very jokingly said, “Yes, we actually had sex. The L Word is porn. The secret’s out!” And the Diva writer printed it as fact that Kate and I had real sex on camera! I was like, “Oh, my God, I hate you!” I almost wrote a nasty letter and then I stopped myself because I thought, if anyone is stupid enough to actually believe that Showtime would let us have real sex, then that’s not my problem. So that was that. But it made me very angry.

So there we have it. Sorry to burst your bubble ladies... Still, whatever our Clem classes herself as, she's still beautiful.

Thankyou... Or good riddance?

****WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T YET WATCHED 'THE L WORD' FINALE.****

Mostly, all I've heard about the L Word finale was that it sucked.

And yeah I guess it did: there were story lines left unresolved (such as whether Alice and Tasha stayed together) and no one even knows who killed Jenny.

But surely we should be thanking L creator Ilene Chaiken for giving lesbians their first ever mainstream show.


There have been highs - pot brownie parties, TiBette sex!, sou chefs - and lows - Dana's death, Tina having sex with men and Max in general - but the main thing is that there was something for lesbians to watch without having to cringe over constant boy/girl sex scenes. (Okay, so it included some heterosexual content too, but predominantly, the sex was girl on girl.)

Also, people always says that most of the actresses gracing our screen, which include Jennifer Beals, Laurel Holloman and Rachel Shelley, don't look like 'conventional' lesbians. But really, who cares?! They're all beautiful, talented and smokin' hot! Lately I've realized that lesbians just like to find stupid stuff to rant and moan about!

Take, for instance, the fact that Lindsay Lohan 'decided' earlier this year that she was gay. Of course, there was a huge uproar by the lesbian community claiming Lindsay was 'doing it for publicity.' Well... So what if she was?! If you don't pay attention to it and it turns out that a week later she's no longer a massive dyke, then who cares? Just let the girl do what she wants!

The last time I blogged, I gave some advice to the straight parents out there. Well, lesbians, now it's your turn: Stop complaining about stupid little things! Life's too short!

On behalf of all the lesbians-who-don't-constantly-moan committee, I say thank you Ilene, for laughs, tears and totally unrealistic story lines. :)