Deep Thoughts with "Smiling" Sean Marks

I am so happy to have escaped the beautiful city of Toronto for the sweltering heat of Miami. For this, I happily dunk.I am quite obviously insane, yet still employed by an NBA team. Though clearly psychotic, I have a championship ring. For this, I giddily dunk. I have grown my hair out to appear more Nowitzki-ish. It looks pretty flowing. For this, I cheerfully dunk.

I am fortunate to play with the previous best point guard in basketball, and now the current best point guard in basketball. They get me easy shots. For instance, this dunk, which I will joyously perform.I have somehow eluded the giant Yao Ming. My sneaky Kiwi ways have come in handy yet again. For this, I will ecstatically dunk.

Because he appreciates my blonde locks, my hairsake Dirk Nowitzki has allowed me the chance for yet another two-handed dunk. For this, I gladly dunk. Fine. I'll dunk again. This time jovially.

Deep Thoughts with Ricky Davis

What have I become?
Am I a parody of the NBA?
Is it true what they say? That I'm a cancer to my team. That I will not win. That a team with Ricky Davis is inherently flawed.
What would make people say such a thing? I am a good person. I enjoy philanthropic activities such as providing burritos to each and every Clippers fan named Rick, Dick, Ricky, Richard, Dicky, David, Dave, Davis, Davie, and Ricardo. Those people deserve burritos, and I gave them burritos.
I am not a bad person.
Sure, sometimes I like to shoot. But who doesn't? Is it not part of basketball to shoot?
My cornrows ... gone.
My Ludacris-themed facial hair ... gone.
My joy ... sadly, gone.
I am a shell.
I am no longer the Ricky Davis that I want to be.
But why?
Why must I toil under the banner of "cancer?" Why should I be the scapegoat?
Why?
Ricky Davis is for the people.
Ricky Davis is of the people.
Ricky Davis is the people.
I am Ricky Davis and I need some shots.