I'm Optimus Prime

I can't believe this video didn't get picked up sooner, because it's incredible. Brook Lopez is every kid ever at the age of 10, except he's 20 years old and a multi-millionaire.

1000 Words: Missed You, Brook

Oh, Brook Lopez. Sometimes you make it too easy.

Robin and Brook Lopez Play Basketball Against Each Other

Robin: DUDE, let's mess with these guys. Like back when we used to tell Mom that I was you and she'd be all, "Brook stop eating Cheerios off the floor. And stop licking the walls!" She was SO mad. We've got to do something, exactly like that. It'll be AMAZING!

Brook: Oh, no doubt, bro. What are we gonna do? I mean, I'd love some Cheerios but we're supposed to look busy.

Robin: Dude, that sucks. Plus we're wearing different colors and my hair is, like, way sweeter than yours right now. There's gotta be something though.

Brook: Dude. I got it. On three, we're going to stare at Kevin Harris the exact same way. He will FREAK. OUT. Guaranteed.

Robin: Sometimes, I'm amazed at how smart you are. My mind gets, like, totally exploded, bro. On three.

One. Two. Three.

Brook: HOLY COW. He is totally freaking out. I can't believe he's still standing up. Ohmygosh, this is the BEST THING EVER!!!!

Robin: Seriously.

Brook: Seriously.

Robin: For realsies.

Brook: Seriously.

Robin: This is SO sweet. Let me ask you a SERIOUS question. Do you want to try it again?

Brook: Dude, we HAVE to. It'll be, like, even awesomer.

Robin: I have the best idea. On three, lean against me and look up. BUT KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN.

Brook: That is PERFECT!

Robin: One. Two. Three!

Brook: DUDE, we're doing it! We are LEVITATING AGAINST EACH OTHER! It feels so strange!

Robin: We are the best people ever right now. I love you so much. As a brother.

Brook: Okay. You almost freaked me out a little bit. I could do this forever.

Robin: We totally just discovered how to hover. We disc-hovered it! DUDE! Disc-HOVERED!

Brook: I KNEW Stanford was a smart school.

The Blowtorch Presents ... Upgrades and Downgrades

Play The Blowtorch Presents...Upgrades and Downgrades


Wherein:

• Various aesthetic changes across the League are assessed for their quality.
• An impromptu dance party is enjoyed.
• A call from Robin Lopez to Brook Lopez is intercepted.
• Music from Black Milk and Royce Da 5'9"

Brook Lopez Prepares for His First Press Conference

GOSH, guys. I don't WANNA do a press conference!

Can't I just stay home and play Wii? I never get to play Wii anymore. Ever since I got here it's been basketball, basketball, BASKETBALL. What do I have to do to get some alone time with New York Minute? That movie's AMAZING.

Seriously, what am I supposed to say at this dumb thing? I can't say I'm glad to be in New Jersey. It's frickin' NEW JERSEY. No one wants to come here. I can't say I'm excited to play for Frank Lawrence. I don't even remember what he looks like. UGH.

I miss Robin. He's probably running through sprinklers AGAIN. He has all the fun in Phoenix. He says they even let him use Funoodles in the team pool. Vince won't even let me read him my poems. It's so BORING here.

I need a nap.