Stephon Marbury Reacts to the Trade of Jamal Crawford

Ey yo Mike MIKE HEY MIKE is Steph aka the Motherland aka Stephonious aka Stereophonics on the ones and twos aka Peace to Bambaataa you know I hear we traded Jameer Crawfish or whateva and Ima just lettin you know that Stephybaby is ready baby I been workin this game HARD this year mustache you don't even know I been down in the streets gettin this game right like a Republican and Im lookin tight yo no homo but my game is killin right now jus the otha day I put up 35 on fifteen a fitty shooting thats nice mustache but then like I also been watchin Knicks games and know you want us shootin in seven seconds which is NOT a problem trust me so now that we got rid a that Crawster dude Steph ready to play point again the fat dude on the bench is buggin out yo get me away from him but I promise Ill pass to the new wrinkle head cat if he wide open or somethin itll be off the hook son holla.

The Blowtorch Presents ... The True Story of Anthony Morrow

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Mike D'Antoni's Having Sympathy Pains

Oh, my back hurts because I'm sooooo sexy. Want to comb my mustache?

First, it was Danilo Gallinari:

Rookie Danilo Gallinari did not travel with the KnicksNew York Knicks on their two-game road trip, staying behind to have a battery of tests on his back to rule out possible surgery, according to a team source.

The source said an MRI will be among the tests performed on the 20-year-old, who has suffered from a bulging disc since mid-July. The pain level in the Italian Stallion's lower back and leg increased the past few days, causing growing concern among the team's medical staff that new treatment may be needed for the 6-foot-10 forward from Milan, who was selected sixth overall in this year's draft.

Now, it's Mike D'Antoni:

If Mike D’Antoni is a few degrees shy of upright and grimacing, it is not because he is feeling the strain of coaching the Knicks. It is because his lower back is killing him.

D’Antoni has been dealing with debilitating back pain for more than a week. It became so bad last Friday he thought he might miss the Knicks’ home game against Oklahoma City.

I've heard of protecting your young players from the media, but this is ludicrous. Just because D'Antoni is friends with Gallinari's dad doesn't mean he should be faking injuries to make his son more comfortable. And that's obviously what's happening.

ALTERNATE ENDING

Oh, you Italians with your weak backs and womanizing ways. That's what you get for stealing our women and trying to make mustache's cool.